FireJokes
A fireman walks into a bar and waves the bartender down. The fireman asks for a beer and offers to tell a joke about policemen. the bartender replies in a cocky tone " look guy ...Im a retired cop, that guy shooting pool is a cop, and that guy 2 seats down from you is a cop. you still want to tell that joke?" the fireman says " No, I dont want to have to repeat it 3 times...".
Q: What do cops and firemen have in common?
A: They both wanna be firemen!
It seems there was a woman who received some bad news. Her husband had been in an automobile accident and was brain dead. The doctor told her some good news, though. They had perfected their brain transplant technique and that she was lucky there were three fresh brains in the brain bank from which to choose.
A large explosion had killed a firefighter, a captain and a chief. Having insurance, she requested the cost for each of the brains. The firefighter's brain was $10,000, the captain's brain was $50,000 and the chief was a million dollars! Curious, she asked why the chief's brain was so much more expensive.
The reply.... you see the chief's brain has never been used!
A fire started on some grasslands near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer group be called. Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call was made.
The volunteers arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They rumbled straight towards the fire, drove right into the middle of the flames and stopped! The firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily-controlled parts.
Watching all this, the farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and was so grateful that his farm had been spared, that right there on the spot he presented the volunteers with a check for $1,000.
A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds. "That ought to be obvious" he responded, wiping ashes off his coat. "The first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on our fire truck!"
Q: What word begins with the letter "F" and ends in "UCK"?
A: Firetruck
Give me a sentence about a public servant", said the teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure", said the young student confidently. "It means 'carrying a child'.
There were two ladies.
Both happily married and both very attractive.
They were faithful to their husbands.
Every so often they have a ladies night where they both go out and have some drinks and go dancing, everything you would think of on a ladies night out. Hours went by and they decided it's time to head home.
They decided to walk home both knowing that they have drank way to much and a little walk would be fun. As they walk home, one of the ladies said that she has to go to the restroom. The second lady agrees but didn't know where the closest restroom was. They both saw a cemetery and thought that they could pop a squat right there.
The first lady bent over and peed but didn't have anything to wipe herself. So she used her underwear and tossed them to the side. The second lady peed by a bush, and not wanting to throw a good pair of underwear away, she lookd around for something. She saw a wreath with a ribbon on it and decided to use it. They continued home and went to bed.
The next day the husband of the two ladies met for a beer and said that they need to put and end to this girls' night out. The first husband said that his wife came home without any panties on. The second husband said that's nothing, my wife came home with a ribbon hanging out of her panties saying "We will miss you, THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!"
Q: What do cops and firemen have in common?
A: They both wanna be firemen!
It seems there was a woman who received some bad news. Her husband had been in an automobile accident and was brain dead. The doctor told her some good news, though. They had perfected their brain transplant technique and that she was lucky there were three fresh brains in the brain bank from which to choose.
A large explosion had killed a firefighter, a captain and a chief. Having insurance, she requested the cost for each of the brains. The firefighter's brain was $10,000, the captain's brain was $50,000 and the chief was a million dollars! Curious, she asked why the chief's brain was so much more expensive.
The reply.... you see the chief's brain has never been used!
A fire started on some grasslands near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer group be called. Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call was made.
The volunteers arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They rumbled straight towards the fire, drove right into the middle of the flames and stopped! The firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily-controlled parts.
Watching all this, the farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and was so grateful that his farm had been spared, that right there on the spot he presented the volunteers with a check for $1,000.
A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds. "That ought to be obvious" he responded, wiping ashes off his coat. "The first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on our fire truck!"
Q: What word begins with the letter "F" and ends in "UCK"?
A: Firetruck
Give me a sentence about a public servant", said the teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure", said the young student confidently. "It means 'carrying a child'.
There were two ladies.
Both happily married and both very attractive.
They were faithful to their husbands.
Every so often they have a ladies night where they both go out and have some drinks and go dancing, everything you would think of on a ladies night out. Hours went by and they decided it's time to head home.
They decided to walk home both knowing that they have drank way to much and a little walk would be fun. As they walk home, one of the ladies said that she has to go to the restroom. The second lady agrees but didn't know where the closest restroom was. They both saw a cemetery and thought that they could pop a squat right there.
The first lady bent over and peed but didn't have anything to wipe herself. So she used her underwear and tossed them to the side. The second lady peed by a bush, and not wanting to throw a good pair of underwear away, she lookd around for something. She saw a wreath with a ribbon on it and decided to use it. They continued home and went to bed.
The next day the husband of the two ladies met for a beer and said that they need to put and end to this girls' night out. The first husband said that his wife came home without any panties on. The second husband said that's nothing, my wife came home with a ribbon hanging out of her panties saying "We will miss you, THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!"
Geplaats door Tommy om 08:22
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